Welcome to part 3 of A-Z of Dating right. In part 1 & 2 i defined what dating is in a sane clime. Dating is not what most or some young minds, millennials and Gen Z, have turned it into. I mean, it is not an opportunity to explore and engage in sexual morals and immoralities. Rather, it is an avenue to get acquainted with your proposed spouse. explore compatibility within a period of time and conclude whether to proceed to courtship.
In this edition, we will be looking at the ‘Es & Fs’ to infuse in your relationship and the ‘Es, & Fs’ to take out of your relationship.
In case you missed the first edition of the topic, here is a quick read
WORTHY OF NOTE
1) Don’t look for a husband or wife rather look for a friend that will become your husband or wife.
2) Never force your spouse to do the right thing. If the person can not agree with you to do the right thing then you are in the wrong relationship. You are both equals and must agree.
3) Don’t go into a relationship with someone you are afraid of. You should be able to be yourself (as in being vulnerable) without being scared of losing the person or getting punished.
The ES’ OF A-Z OF DATING RIGHT
Exclusivity – your relationship has to be exclusive. Until it is exclusive, it is not a royal relationship. You can’t be dating more than one person at a time, that is not a royal relationship. Do not practice try-and-error dating. Do relationships one at a time.
Ease – there has to be ease. The ease at which you resolve issues and communicate. Things should flow easily. The ease you have in your relationship makes things deeper. This means you are both willing to compromise to ensure it works.
THE ES’ TO TAKE OUT
Excuses – If the relationship matters to both of you, you will both be committed to ensuring you get things done. Excuses should be minimized in a royal relationship. Where there is a will there is a way. Excuses could simply mean you gradually losing interest.
THE FS’ IN A-Z OF DATING RIGHT
Friendship – royalty infuses friendship into a relationship. If you are in a relationship with someone who is not your friend it is a red flag. It is easier for your friend to become your spouse than for your spouse to become your friend. Friendship is important in marriage. Ensure the person is your friend. Don’t look for a husband or wife rather look for a friend that will become your husband or wife.
Forgiveness – you must always be ready to forgive. Marriage is an institution of forgiveness. If you don’t have the heart to forgive, don’t go into a relationship that will lead to marriage. You must be willing to forgive at all times.
Faithfulness – the hallmark of a royal relationship is faithfulness.
The FS’ TO TAKE OUT
Force – Compelling someone to do things in a relationship is abuse. Instead of forcing the person to bend to your will, convince the person by talking to the person. Get out of a relationship where there is an exaction of force because it is toxic. That’s why there must be an agreement between you. You shouldn’t be forced to do what you are supposed to do or what you are not supposed to do. Never force your spouse to do the right thing. If the person can not agree with you to do the right thing then you are in the wrong relationship. You are both equals and must agree.
Fear – you should never be afraid of each other. Don’t go into a relationship with someone you are afraid of. You should be able to be yourself (as in being vulnerable) without being scared of losing the person or getting punished.
HYPOTHETICAL SENERIORS AND PROBABLE SOLUTIONS
I just met this guy, but he always switched off on me when we have issues and won’t call until I do, what should I do? I am thinking of backing out.
Since it is a relationship you can leave the relationship. If you decide to marry someone despite their obvious floors then you should make up your mind to live with it for the rest of your life. Therefore, you have two options, either you back out now or you choose to live with the person for the rest of your life. A relationship should only work on the right terms and not faulty terms. If you have to deal with faulty terms, do it before getting married to the person and watch out.
Not all nuggets are covered in this summary. Kindly take time out to listen to the audio on Clubhouse.
A-Z of Dating Right Part 3 By Michael Agbamoro
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